When did May happen?

Well...that was fast. My last post was in March. Geez louise. Who would have thought May would sneak up on me? Better yet, it is almost June! Anyone else (if anyone actually still reads this) feeling the end of the year crazy?

Currently, I have a few struggles. One of which is my grading pile. My current grading pile looks like this:

On the left is before a couple of hours work, on the right is after. They. look. the. same. Ugh, grading is still something I struggle with, despite the copious amounts of advice I get on the matter. To be honest, the best advice that I've received about grading is that I need to find what works best for me. This is true; I think it is easy to give new teachers all sorts of advice and tell them things that sound like great teacher hacks, but I also think we newbies need to find our own stride with some things. Our grading mojo is one of those things. Yes, there are rubrics and things in place to make sure equality happens, but keeping up on things, etc. are all rhythms that take practice.

My other struggle is summer. I can hardly believe that it is almost near. I'm excited. My students are excited. All I can think of is all of the stuff that I can get done planning wise and personal wise without grading and prep to deal with. New teacher confession: I forget what real food tastes like (and I'm going to blame my lack of homemade cooking and abysmal housekeeping on being a new teacher, not on the reality of being ridiculously lazy). There are all of these things going around like "Keep Calm Teachers, it's almost summer", but I feel more like this:

I've said it before and I'll say it again, the first year of teaching is nuts. I don't think a single day has gone by where I didn't learn something. Really, that is one of the reasons that I became a teacher too. That isn't to say that some images weren't shattered. No matter how prepared I thought I was, no matter how much I thought I understood what it meant to be in a profession, I was wrong. Oh my, was I stupidly wrong. In fact, I know that I've said to multiple people who have become friends and mentors (minus the "Mrs. Martin" part),

A general statistic keeps going around (I don't know the source) talking about how most new teachers leave the profession before they reach five years (a blog post by Dr. Justin Tarte actually talked about this a little). In the district I am in, the same can be said for the longevity of the teaching staff. What a sad commentary on the profession and on our society. Before actually getting to live the "teacherlife" full time, I always thought this was an intense statistic. On the one hand, it scared me to death. On the other, it drove me to disprove it for myself. That being said, I completely, totally and utterly understand why people would leave. This year I have been actively job hunting since...probably November. At least two months of that has been for jobs outside of the teaching profession. Why? To be a teacher takes guts, grit and strength. Qualities that I am not always sure that I possess. Teachers battle public perception, despondent students and parents who are either friends or enemies among many, many other things. Now, let me be clear, I am not saying that other professions don't have similar battles. I grew up among health care folk, and I know that many (especially in the lower echelons) face similar battles. So, why do we do this to these necessary professions? Where would we, as a society, be without education or healthcare? In order to get healthcare, you need healthcare professionals. In order to be educated, you need teachers. Therefore, should people in these (and any other less recognized fields) be revered instead of ridiculed?

I am aware that I am not the first nor last person to rant on this topic. I guess tonight, as I sit with ten different browsers open trying to plan for the end of the year and stay awake after a frustrating day, I find it easy to get lost in the cynicism. I just think it is food for thought. Since I need to try and stay positive in order to stay sane, I will list a few of the positives from the last couple of months to end this post:

• The sweet student who gave me a small present and gratitude during Teacher Appreciation week (despite the fact that I was incredibly sick at the time with no voice and leaving school to go to urgent care). 
• The teacher/s who let me rant and rave at them after one of the most frustrating meetings ever and then validated my feelings before making me laugh. 
• The boy who said that he had learned a lot in my class.
• The typical trouble maker who actually wrote down one of the notes today. 
• A grade scale that has been...patched.
• Friends who remind me that I am not forgotten, despite being stuck in my teacher-cloud.
• Co-workers who don't let me be a hermit.
• 11 MORE SCHOOL DAYS FOR TEACHERS! 

Alrighty folks, if anyone has actually read this, then I thank you.